yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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