If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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