I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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