wakey wakey hands off snakey
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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