she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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