Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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