As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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