yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
