You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
