i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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