I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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