you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You pole danced in your parka.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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