Betty ford says i'm here all night
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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