I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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