he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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