the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize