It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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