Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
