i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We talked him into tasing himself.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm always down for nudity.
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