make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize