I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
