The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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