Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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