VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no, he came in my armpit
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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