I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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