Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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