i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
