We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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