Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
