Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
