This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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