D3 body, D1 cock
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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