Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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