When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
