i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
