Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
