I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
