and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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