i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
