i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
