My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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