should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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