There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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