I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
