I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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