i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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