please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
