fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
honey bunches of taint.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize