Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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