Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sponge bath it is.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
sex in a hospital.. check
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
