I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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