New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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