She's JV to your varsity
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize