Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
