If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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