I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
another moral hangover. fuck.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i will never coherently bang her
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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