she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Randomize
