This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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