She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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