don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
