woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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