where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
