Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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