hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
