Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
