at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
