He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so explain again why im purple
no
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
