Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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